4 Weeks 0 Days

We're ok.  It's been a really rough few days.  I forgot just how much pregnancy hormones mess with my ability to think logically and rationally and how much I stress. I have been all over the shop but the result is good.  At 11DPO I had bloods drawn and my HCG came back at 22.  There was concern because of the lighter pee tests (which actually weren't and the one in the PM was definitely dark) and the fact the number was so low.  I was also comparing to DS who I had a HCG of 30...forgetting that was 12DPO.  Anyway, 48 hours later and still experiencing pregnancy symptoms and pretty sure the tests were getting darker (even though not super dark), my OB agreed to do bloods again.  In pretty much exactly 48 hours my HCG more than QUADRUPLED!  90mIU/ml!  Considering DS went to 72mIU/ml, I was beyond stoked.  That jump is HUGE! 

This pregnancy is different to that of DS. I have a lot more symptoms and already have morning sickness.  I'm surprised at just how much my body remembers. Linea nigra is already starting to darken. Pubic symphasis has been painful pretty much since ovulation and getting worse. My abs have started to split again. My guts are shifting around already because when I get gas I get popped in the bladder like I'm having baby kicks again. 

I am having some difficulty relaxing and seem to be gripped by this fair of m/c.  I think it has mostly been because of what's occurred this week but also because my two closest buds from TTC DS went through it.  One of my girls has had two m/cs and the other had one because her retard IVF doctor told her it was ok to discontinue progesterone prior to the 12 weeks mark.  I'm constantly on symptom monitoring.  My current beef is the fact that my boobs are less sore tonight. The are always more sore at night. But not tonight.  Doesn't matter that I'm still cramping and stretching and getting morning sickness. The fact that my boobs aren't as sore worries me.  And why?  Because my tummy has been off today like I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me and of course I'm worried like somehow there has been some instantaneous infection etc. etc. etc.  It's painful being inside my own head.  This is going to be long first trimester if I keep up like this. 

Enough of that anyway. Today by my ovulation date, I'm 4 weeks and 0 days. By that date FF says I'm due 23rd February. Whether I get to that date or not is questionable. I was induced with DS due to obstetric cholestasis and there is a 75% chance that it will return.  Hopefully, if it does, it won't happen until the end like last time...

What else?  Not much. Cervix was very posterior tonight which I am hoping is a good thing. It's been quite high up for the last few days and I've been getting little bits of EWCM mixed in with the creamy stuff. That was another clue I had the couple days before testing.  10DPO I woke up after that dip and "knew" and sure enough temp was up. My chart has NEVER gone back up on 10DPO. Never.  Tested negative on FMU (not surprising) but still knew because when I put my HR monitor on to go to the gym I was running about 10bpm higher than normal.  :-)

Totally rambling.  Will shut up now. Should go get some sleep now that I don't feel like I've consumed a football!