3DPO - A Case of The Delusional Fuzzies

I'm in that post-ovulation delusional phase. It happens every cycle.  I ovulate and suddenly I'm all like sunshine and lollypops because I totally CAN get pregnant like this cycle right!?  ZOMG!!1!1!!  This lasts for a couple days before the seeds of doubt creep in... Then at about 7DPO I wake up and I feel it.  I just know. I'm totally not pregnant.  This is followed by the next four days of watching my temps like a hawk hoping that they will miraculously change direction and shoot back up, categorically proving that I am indeed pregnant and my natural instinct was wrong!!!  Even when the spotting starts I cling to the hope that just maybe its implantation and again, the next day it will all be gone and my temp will be back...you know...like those charts you see on FF.  I don't think those charts are real.  That doesn't happen to real people.  LOL.

Anyway, so we are phase one and I'm telling myself that this is the cycle and we are so going to be pregnant.  I'm talking to an egg that may or may not actually even be fertilised and I'm telling it go implant itself nicely.  Clomid?  Yeah who needs that!?  I go and admire my chart...and...I'm not quite feeling the love?  Last cycle I was all stoked because my temps went way up high blah blah.  I remember writing in my delusion phase that I was sure the cycle was going to be so much more healthy.  This cycle my temps have been weird. Abnormally high at ovulation but then not really taking off afterwards.  Admittedly, it is a little early to tell and this morning's corpus luteum dip doesn't help to paint pretty pictures. 

I was going to stop temping after today.  I was going to do that the last two cycle too.  I'm kinda suckered in though... I want to see what happens. Because, as you know already, this is the cycle that I'm pregnant and that being the case I want to see if I get a cool implantation dip or a triphasic chart and be able to record a positive test and turn the little line green.  Then I'll submit it to the gallery so other people can fawn over it and wish it was theirs and somehow contribute to some random statistic that FF will generate about how to conceive. -sigh-

Does anyone else troll the gallery?  I do.  I look at how old the person is and whether they have medical problems and then how long it took them and then when they had sex.  One page of the gallery and I can swing from "That person is 37 and overweight and had sex two days before ovulation and conceived on their second month. Now why can't I just do that?" and then go to "Oh they are 25 and bonked everyday and they only just conceived after their fifth month...maybe I am just being impatient?".  That and the aforementioned impossible charts where you'd swear AF was going to make a show and then out of nowhere the green lines powers up with its little green BFP cross and you see that temp dip was actually an implantation dip at like 12DPO. You know, something that is impossible for me to achieve with an 11 day LP...

Anyway, I think my temps are askew as my hormones have change a bit.  Last night I discovered that my milk has pretty well (finally) dried up.  That and I've been having that weird ligament pubic symphasis type pain I had through through the second half of pregnancy, over the last few days. Not that I'm really expecting it to make a huge difference to the outcome but I guess interesting to note the shift. Hang on. Far too logical.  What I meant was that this has all happened because I'm pregnant and just super sensitive to the miniscule progestrone secretions of an unimplanted cluster of cells.

I could do this all day.  I'll stop now. :-P

Nine or ten days till to the truth is revealed and I get some Clomid loving. :-)