Body Loathing

I hate my body so much right now.  CD15 and it seems we have stalled.  LH strip no closer to being positive.  Cervix stuck in the same not very fertile crappy position.  I'm not going to ovulate on CD17.  I hate my body. I hate that I can't just work like an ordinary person.  :-( 

I was looking on FF at charts where ovulation happens on CD17.  Most of them are 30 years plus old.  Those that are my age and do get pregnant take months and months and get slung with unexplained infertility.  I remembered yesterday that my mother got early menopause.  Picture seems a little clearer now.  I might as well face the fact that this is going to be a long journey yet again. 

I've been spotting through to mid cycle.  Yesterday is was quite red again. I emailed my OBGYN and he seems to be of the opinion that it is just my hormones readjusting.  Awesome. I still have milk.  So now I am going to have to put up with a messy downstairs for months while we TTC futily.

DH is really into it right now.  I'm shocked.  He wasn't like this until well into the process last time. I hope the enthusiasm sticks. :-)

Remembered why I quit temping too.  I wake up all night long. For some reason I can't switch my brain off enough to get good uninterrupted sleep.  I don't think I'll temp after ovulation or for any more cycles.  I value my sleep too much.